Even if you fall on your face, you’re still moving forward.
Victor Kiam

A good definition of networking: Effective business networking is the linking together of individuals who, through trust and relationship building, become walking, talking advertisements for one another.

A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others.

Ayn Rand

I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
Michael Jordan

I invited Angela Minelli to be my guest blogger today. I’m learning the importance of setting personal boundaries and was intrigued by Angela’s take on boundaries and weight loss and want to share it with you. Enjoy!

Why Setting Boundaries Works for

Weight Loss

Do you ever feel trapped, in a relationship, in a job, or even in the confines of your own mind?

Setting boundaries is a big topic, one that deserves a lot of attention, and means a lot to me personally, because I used to never do it. But now, I consider it my #1 strategy to remaining calm and maintaining focus so that I don’t take on anyone else’s issues that aren’t mine to take on.

I don’t just mean setting boundaries with others either because sometimes it means setting them with ourselves too which can lead to self-abusive behaviors including those with food if not properly addressed.

We can be so abusive to ourselves and our bodies in so many ways that the first place to start when it comes to setting appropriate boundaries might just be with the person you spend the most time with day in and day out, which would be yourself.

How often do you look in the mirror and not like what you see, so you proceed to go on a tirade about how ugly you are, how fat you are, or how hopeless you are?

How many times do you dis-empower yourself by telling yourself that you’re worthless, weak and lack enough willpower to lose weight, or do anything else for that matter?

Why do we become the target of our own unhappiness and dissatisfaction with ourselves?

To make matters worse, we let others do it too.

I work with a lot of women who let their significant other, mom, ex-husband, son, daughter, dad, boss or dog manipulate them into believing that they should take responsibility for problems that aren’t theirs to take responsibility for, but they do it anyways.

Then they binge eat, overeat, smoke, gamble, drink, do drugs, or indulge in any other form of self-destructive behavior they can think of to relieve their stress. Fortunately it backfires every time because instead of relieving stress, it adds more stress, in the form of overspending, arguing, and excess fat, which really gets their attention like nothing else will.

But because they fail to solve the problem – the one that’s not theirs to solve in the first place – they deduce they’re a failure and turn on themselves by using abusive language and substances, and attempt to use food to fix a situation that food can’t fix.

I know very few people who are able to set and keep boundaries successfully. Setting the boundary isn’t the problem, it’s keeping the boundary that is, because they usually set them and then cave out of fear of not being liked, encountering conflict, or being called a bitch, even if it’s killing them inside and their resentment keeps building.

This doesn’t just apply to personal relationships mind you, but professional ones as well. The best way for companies to retain employees is by threatening them with their jobs, convincing them into thinking that working late, working unpaid overtime, or working themselves sick is a standard part of collecting a paycheck and should just be tolerated.

So they do, and then they get fat and can’t lose weight, all because they’re trying to satisfy someone else instead of trying to satisfy themselves.

For some women, this will never change, but for others, it will. There are a lot of women who are tired of allowing themselves to be suppressed and regardless of the risk, they’re ready to stand up for themselves, which begins with setting boundaries in their lives with the people that are so used to crossing them.

To set a solid boundary, follow these 3 simple steps:

1. Have a chat with the offending party and explain, without judgment, that although you’re always willing to help, that they must first help themselves, and as is the case with you, they need to accept full responsibility for any issues that arise in their lives, no matter whether they’re good or bad, and more so, it’s imperative that they take ownership of their feelings regardless of how you or anyone else chooses to react to them. In other words, you can’t save them, and if they attempt to turn their problems over to you to fix them, it’s a lose-lose situation all around.
2. Next, it’s important that you explain to them how their behavior affects you. If you feel responsible for someone else, it’s only natural that it will show up in out-of-control behavior on your part because there is literally nothing you can do to change them or fix whatever needs fixing in their lives, but because you want to, you try to, and without realizing it, you take on responsibility that doesn’t belong to you and you have no business being involved with. It’s actually incredibly disrespectful to now allow another person to handle their own affairs, so for your sake and theirs, butt out!
3. Once you’ve set the boundary, leave it alone. If you find yourself back in your old behavior of trying to fix things, or you notice them trying to coax you back into it, you need to reinstate the boundary, except this time, you don’t need to explain it. You only need to do that once, and from there, it’s up to them to be responsible enough to remember it and respect it.

All of this can be said in a safe, loving way, so that no one feels upset, angry, or isolated, but expect the dynamics of the relationship to change, which will be off putting to the other party. Maintaining your ground will be key to enforcing your boundary.

Once you do though, you’ll begin to release toxic emotions that get stored in fat tissue, and losing weight becomes a natural side effect.

I’m on a mission to effectively shift millions of women away from the old paradigm of losing weight, treating disease, and managing their overall health to a naturally sustainable model of self-care that supports their innate craving for nurturing, attention and relaxation while still functioning as top level performers.

If you’re ready to Get Calm, Clear and Confident by Losing BIG, then CLICK HERE to apply for a life-changing, complimentary one-on-one coaching consultation with me to determine how.

READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE HERE 

How about you?

Do you set boundaries for yourself?  What boundaries do you have in place for others?

Click here to comment!

Till next time,
Warmly,

Mary Pfeffer

“No one can drive us crazy unless we give them the keys.” – Unknown

Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune.
Jim Rohn

People often ask me why ViSalus, what makes this different than other protein shakes.  This video will explain it to you in simple terms why you need a good quality protein in your diet every day, regardless if you use it to lose weight, gain or boost your fitness level.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEB7tL2U9IE&feature=youtu.be

Want results like this?  Click the green Join the Challenge button at www.2fitandrich.com

Diligence is the mother of good fortune.
Benjamin Disraeli

To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.
Mark Twain

Eat something every three to four hours and never let yourself feel famished from one meal to the next. This keeps your metabolism moving along.  A healthy low-cal snack would be to enjoy a “Naked Shake”, that’s the Vi Shape mixed with water and is only 90 calories. It will help curb cravings and increase the likelihood that you will make a healthy choice at your next meal. www.2fitandrich.com